So long, it's been good to know you

I just checked and I haven’t posted a blog entry since July 31st. It looks as if I’m falling back into my old habits, but there really is a reason for this. You see, during July I made a commitment to write 30,000 words, using both this blog and a novel that I had started. July ended and I moved on to something else: Camp NaNoWriMo. During August I’m trying to write 50,000 words and all of that must be novel. So what I’m typing now doesn’t matter at all. Not a bit.

On the positive side (for me, since the only person who actually reads this is Lynne and I’m not sure how positively she’ll view this news), during September I plan to edit as well as sign on for “Story a Day.” Since the story project has few rules, I figure I can use my blog for the stories, sometimes using the story prompts for the day (if they happen to fit my mood and something I have to say) and sometimes just rambling as I usually do. So if all works out and the world doesn’t end, September should bring more blog entries.

End of the world. . . That reminds me that I really need to finish my day-before-the-end-of-the-world story and find somewhere to submit it. Hopefully I’ll fit that in before December.

Easily distracted lately, can you tell? I posted an ecard to Facebook yesterday that says it all:

And yes, I kept on track long enough to buy and eat ice cream yesterday. Some things keep my attention.

Anyhow, August — the month in which I will write 50,000 words and finish the book The Clockwork Heart. At the moment my total for the month stands at 9974 words. For some people that might sound impressive, an average of 907 words per day for the first eleven days this month. The problem is that I should have reached 17,741 by the end of yesterday. By the end of this day I should be at 19,354 words. That won’t happen. However, in a little while I’m heading to Panera with the goal of 4026 words, ending the day with at least 14,000. That’s at least doable — if I don’t get distracted.

However, I’m not leaving for almost an hour, so I decided it’s time to write this post that I’ve been planning for the past six days and got exactly as far as titling. Procrastinate much?

But I need to move on.

Amazing how I can write over 400 words and say absolutely nothing, isn’t it?

Ok, so back to the topic of choice for today and the past six days: saying “Good-bye.”

Those who know me know that there’s a good reason for this post: after seven weeks in the US, spent visiting me, my daughter returned to her real home, South Korea. Yes, Anjee was born in Pennsylvania, lived in Pennsylvania for most of her life. But for the past almost-six years, she has lived in Jeonju, where she teaches English. When I’m lucky, I see her once a year, though usually for an extended stay. When I’m not lucky, I can go longer without seeing her. Yes, I could go and visit her, but that requires funding that I don’t currently have. Some day. . .

Anyhow, while Anjee was here, we didn’t do anything truly exciting: four trips to Middletown, PA, seven movies. One trip to Hersheypark, a single excursion into the District, many trips to various retailers, and quite a few restaurants. It was fun, relaxing, rewarding to spend time together (at least for me). I also worked during that time, while she went to the gym, wrote her lesson plans, shopped, and watched television with Slink. We fell into a pattern of quiet evenings, busy but usually relaxing weekends, and being comfortable with each other.

Saying good-bye really sucked. Really. I try my best not to cry when my kids leave and mostly succeeded this time — at least while I was with Anjee — but even now, thinking of her leaving makes me sad. The same is true of when Albert is here, even though his stays are shorter and occasionally I manage to find my way to Florida to visit him. I miss my kids. We live separate lives, but they are still a part of me.

Of course, there are plenty of reminder of Anjee when she leaves. She’s quite a traveler and brings me gifts, gifts, gifts when she returns. She’s started me on several collections that remain within sight. The masks:

Most of those were from her, though I purchased a few on my own. The same is true of the marionettes:

There are other things as well.

And she’s left some personal items. Most notable are the shoes:

Pretty scruffy looking and soon to be removed from the living room. You see, while Anjee was here, she’d kick her shoes off in the living room before sitting on the sofa. Slink took to lounging on them. We never did figure out whether he did that because he liked them or to try to annoy her. Whatever the reason, these two pairs were worn out and she decided to leave them here.

For Slink.

Since she left, he hasn’t touched them. It’s probably time to relegate them to Anjee’s bedroom (ok, it’s my guest room, but for months each year it’s hers). I could throw them away, but if I save them she can set them out next time she’s here and save her newer footwear from cat hair and scratches.

But the shoes bring me to the topic of saying good-bye. Part of this for me is setting my apartment back to being just mine, rather than the residence of myself and my child or children. I’ve done this since they were in college, going through a ritual each time they left for their dorms or apartments or wherever. I go through the apartment (or house during those initial good-byes) and pick up bits of trash, forgotten items, empty water bottles, the toothbrush left behind. I strip the beds, wash the sheets, and say good-bye to the traces that mark their presence. There are still reminders, but those are reminder of my children and not of their residence here. Does that make sense?

This particular good-bye got me to thinking about Middletown and my parents and grandparents.

My grandparents never had to say good-bye, at least not to my parents. “Good-bye” meant that their children were traveling the three blocks or five blocks to their own homes. Vacations? For the most part they were taken jointly. Yes, there were those who went into the service and moved away for a while, but then came back. For the most part they stayed in Middletown — or maybe moved to Royalton or Highspire.

And that seems to be the case for many of those in Middletown. So many of my high school friends are still there and so are their parents. A few had moved away and then came back. But Middletown seems to be a magnet, drawing them all home.

Yes, I have relatives who no longer live in Middletown, who live in New Jersey or Tennessee or other places. And my ancestors haven’t always lived in Middletown, but for the most part that’s where they are.

And yet, I live in Maryland — as of next week will have been here for five years and before that hadn’t lived in Middletown since 1981. My kids live in Florida and South Korea.

But if I were to name my hometown, it would be Middletown.

The same is probably true of many of my high school friends, whether they still live in Middletown or not.

And yet, many of their children don’t live in Middletown, or even wherever they are. Kathy lives in Pennsylvania, but her daughter lives in California. Lynne lives in Texas, but her children are in Oregon. We’ve become scattered.

Somewhere along the line, people moved away.

Yes, there was some of that when I was growing up. Middletown was home to Olmsted Air Force Base, which meant that we had classmates whose parents were in the military. These kids usually lived at Meade Heights or Pineford Acres, the military housing sites in Middletown. And occasionally they’d leave.

I can still remember when one of our friends left. His name was Andre and he was wild: always getting into trouble. I don’t know how our teacher felt about him leaving but all of us kids knew that we’d miss him. I’m not sure whether that was because he created so much excitement or because with the focus on him, the rest of us spent less time in trouble. Whatever, we decided to let him know that we’d miss him. Not being well acquainted with good-byes, we chose to sing a song to him, one of the songs that we had learned and sang regularly in our music classes: “So Long.” I can remember standing there, all of us in Mrs. Wilson’s fifth grade class, and singing the lyrics in the required western drawl:

                          So long, it's been good to know yuh;
                          So long, it's been good to know yuh;
                          So long, it's been good to know yuh.
                          This dusty old dust is a-gettin' my home,
                          And I got to be driftin' along.

           I had to search for the words to this because I couldn’t remember the fourth line of the refrain, though I do remember the tune. The verses? I found them but they just don’t ring a bell. And something else I found about the song: it was written by Woody Guthrie. Seriously. Woody Guthrie. Of course, basically all I know about Woody Guthrie is that he wrote This Land is Your Land and that he died of Huntington’s Disease, though I probably saw him perform on one of the musical shows that I watched with my grandparents. I wouldn’t recognize him if I saw a picture: I remember him as played by Joseph Boley in Alice’s Restaurant, puffing on a cigarette while dying.

Ok, back on task.

Andre’s good-bye wasn’t the first, just the first I remembered. There were many after that, and for children, we endured more than our share. You see, shortly after Andre’s departure, in 1964, Defense Secretary Robert McNamara announced that Olmsted Air Force Base would be closed. This was devastating because it meant that not just military families but also civilian defense employees started to leave the area. Some stayed, but many left in pursuit of jobs, and our classmates seemed to be leaving in droves.

Ok, maybe it wasn’t that bad, but it hurt.

In fact, when the closing announcement was made, Mrs. Booser, leader of church activities and Girl Scouts, mobilized all of us in our first political action: we went door-to-door one Sunday afternoon, collecting signatures on petitions, begging Mr. McNamara to spare our town and our friendships.

And we had our first taste of being turned down.

Over the years more and more people left.

And more arrived.

Comings and goings. I really think that the base closing opened us up to both. Olmsted moved out. Penn State moved in. People came. People went.

And eventually many of us left for college, more of us each year. Some of us returned, some didn’t.

Sometimes we said good-bye. Sometimes we just drifted apart.

But somewhere along the line, good-bye became a way of life.